Remembering Felicia
Author’s note: This post was originally published on March 20, 2021.
I can still remember the first time I heard about Felicia. Our friends, a fellow Air Force family stationed in Madrid, mentioned hanging out with an older couple, Felicia and Jose Antonio. “You would love them,” they said. At the time, I was a bit skeptical. What could I possibly have in common with a couple who were older than my parents? But I kept hearing stories about Felicia, the Serbian-born Romanian woman who spent her young adulthood in the US and had lived in Spain for most of her life. When I learned she was having one of her famous antiques open houses, I had to go see what all the fuss was about.
On the day of the open house, I maneuvered our American SUV out of our cramped, 4-story Madrid parking garage. This was my first time attempting this fear, and I skimmed a concrete pole on the way out, causing substantial damage to the side of the car. I remember thinking, “this Felicia lady better be worth it!” And she was. Within minutes of meeting her, Felicia was speaking to me in our native Romanian and plying me with all manner of tasty treats, from powdery sweet, walnut-filled crescents to deliciously crunchy chocolate chip cookies. I immediately warmed to her. Felicia was hilarious; so incredibly down-to-earth and easy to talk to. She’d often throw in a slang phrase here and there that would crack me up and make me forget the age difference between us. I enjoyed my time at her open house so much that I not only purchased an antique coat rack, but also joined the International Newcomers Club of Madrid (INC) that same day. Felicia was the Honorary President of INC, a ladies expat club, and it was near and dear to her heart. Little did I know, Felicia and INC were about to change my Madrid experience.
Up until that point, I’d felt a little lost in Madrid. We’d been living there for about 8 months, and my family had mostly adjusted to the large European capital. Garrett was happy in his job, the kids had settled well into their schools. But I felt a bit rudderless; I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. Once I joined INC, that started to change. I met all sorts of interesting women who were expats in Madrid, and began seeing the city in a new light. My friendship with Felicia also blossomed. A couple months after I joined INC, Felicia called me and asked if I wanted to be on the Board. She thought I would make a great e-News Editor. I reluctantly agreed, despite thinking that maybe I was better suited to another job like Social Media Manager. Well, it turns out Felicia knew what she was doing. Through our emailing, she had observed my love of writing and wanted to foster it.
Serving as the INC e-News Editor changed my life in Madrid for the better. Suddenly, I had a purpose. I finally felt like I was part of a community. I looked forward to each Monthly Meeting, each Board Meeting, each event that I attended. Every Sunday, I spent a couple hours drafting the weekly e-newsletter that would be sent to our 200-person membership the next morning. Encouraged by Felicia, I sought to make the e-News not only informative, but interesting. One day, Felicia brought in old copies of the paper newsletter “Nuevas Amigas,” that she’d held onto from years past. She hoped I’d be able to bring back some of the magic of those newsletters, and I didn’t want to let her down. Every time I would publish an e-News, she would either email me back with positive feedback or call me to find out why she didn’t receive it (usually it had gone to her junk email!). Felicia became my personal cheerleader, and every time I wrote an e-News, I gave it my all because I knew how much it meant to her. She was a true friend who believed in me. In time, she became like family. We planned a baby shower for the friend who introduced us, and she met my mom when she was in town visiting. Our shared heritage led her to remark that she felt like we were family, too.
The last time I saw Felicia was June 12, 2020. We had kept in touch during Madrid’s lockdown, talking on the phone and emailing every week or two. But I wanted to see her again before we moved back to the US. I was nervous about potentially exposing her to Covid, so we decided we would see each other outside, in her garden. BEcause I didn’t want to burden her or increase the risk of exposure, I asked her not to prepare any food for me. But in typical Felicia fashion, she was waiting for me with an elaborate spread of delicious food, and cava to boot. “Sit down, and take off that stupid mask!” she exclaimed when she saw me. I was glad to see the pandemic hadn’t dulled her sharp sense of humor. We had a lovely time, sitting six feet apart, talking about life, our memories together, and our sadness about my leaving Madrid a year early. When I left, we masked up and she gave me a big hug. I promised her I would return to visit her with my parents once Coronavirus was over.
About a month after we moved away from Madrid, Felicia’s health took a turn for the worse. Out of respect for her privacy I won’t go into details here, but suffice it to say it was unexpected and sudden (though not Covid-related). Thankfully, our mutual friend in Madrid kept me in the loop. By late January, Felicia had seemingly made a recovery and things were looking up, so much so that she emailed me to apologize that she hadn’t been responding to my emails and to fill me in about her health issues (I could just hear her voice when she concluded, “Well, my friend, that’s the story.”). She promised to keep in touch and encouraged me to keep writing, wishing me “success with [my] writing talent.” I was touched that even during this precarious time, she took the time to encourage my writing…that was her generous spirit. Her health must have taken another turn shortly after that, because I never heard from her again. After emailing her a couple times and then calling her with no success, I sensed something was seriously wrong and learned she was back in the hospital. A few days later, our mutual friend told me the news: Felicia had passed away.
It’s been almost a week since I got the news and it still doesn’t feel real. The last time I saw Felicia, she seemed so healthy and full of life. One of the things I always said about her was that she seemed ageless. She had a magnetic personality and could befriend just about anyone. Whenever she hosted events at her house - whether for three people or thirty - she did all of the cooking herself: multiple kinds of Romanian pastries, cookies, dips, cured meats and cheese platters…it was always an impressive spread. I don’t know how she did it all, but she did. She was incredibly generous and kind to all her many friends and she spoke very fondly of her family back in the US. She was genuinely interested in other people, always calling and emailing to check in. She had a great sense of humor and a refreshing bluntness about her. Simply put, Felicia was an extraordinary person. To me, she felt like family, and I feel lucky to have called her my friend. The world is not the same without her.
